After almost 8 years, millions of tears.....a lifetime of regret.......
I am going to be reunited with my kids........
All I want is to help any of you struggling..........please reach out to me......I will do anything to help you
Sunday, 9 February 2014
Monday, 27 January 2014
I thought I would republish this....
A Poem for the innocent children who are told "To soldier on"
Dear God,
Tonight I see a midnight sky, stars ordered in brilliant disarray, the man on the moon, the little dipper, the big dipper too, the two star collections that Harry and I call the "mommy dream catchers."
Tucked in my bed, the smell of mommy's perfume lingering on my pillow, her picture in my hand, I anxiously wait for velvet bear...that is mommy's nickname for my big brother Harry....We do this every night just to peek for the shooting star, hands outreached, we giggle as we try to catch her..."Harry quick, that's her, see? That is mommy's sky message!" I close my eyes, make a wish and blow her a kiss, my lips on hers. Tender.
God, can she feel me?
Pensive and teary velvet bear gently rolls his head to me and says, "yeah silly goose, that's her." As I reach for his hand, I whisper, "I love you velvet bear, hold me tight on this starry night." Does Harry know his heart can cry too?
God do you see her, can you touch her? Please hold her tight, I am so worried she is afraid....she always left a light on. It's too dark outside for her....
I wipe his tears and kiss his cheek, solid soldier he has become, my hero. We soldier on. We do as we are told.
Our nightly ritual, secretly held, we know no one can bear witness so our dream catcher is on guard, our fingers entangle, a nest we make with hopes she will fall from the midnight sky, it feels so real. Mommy we are here, fall into our love.
God can you feel us, we are here.
A box of treasured memories hidden deep in our hearts, a lifetime of love and adventure cut short, abruptly torn from our souls. A locket of blonde hair, cards beginning to fade, tattered corners from my endless need for them. Every word locked in my mind. Over and over.
But God, we do as we are told, silent soldiers we have become.
A summer day, we water the butterfly tree......a gift from mommy...she is our papillion, we marvel at the splendor of her, her eyes would always twinkle when we shrieked at the first flutter creature of summer, we chase the whirring wings and softly the dance is done as she lands with ease, gently, so gently...butterfly kisses.....lash to lash, love to love, hope.
God can you see her fly? Unwrap her wings for me.
We crave her laughter, her tales of that silly spaceship that made us fall into the softness of our beds, my magic purse and songs so goofy we just had to dance. God please know that our stage needs more than two to Tango.
But we soldier on, clickity clak and rinny tin tin, rusty soldiers we become.....but we do as we are told.
God I am still so small and my world is a maze with thoughts of hope, candy floss, merry-go- rounds and simple things, my shoulders hurt, my feet ache, I can no longer soldier on.
We can no longer soldier on....please end our war, please hear our prayers, we can no longer soldier on.
Good night midnight sky. Good night mommy.
Love Skylar
Tonight I see a midnight sky, stars ordered in brilliant disarray, the man on the moon, the little dipper, the big dipper too, the two star collections that Harry and I call the "mommy dream catchers."
Tucked in my bed, the smell of mommy's perfume lingering on my pillow, her picture in my hand, I anxiously wait for velvet bear...that is mommy's nickname for my big brother Harry....We do this every night just to peek for the shooting star, hands outreached, we giggle as we try to catch her..."Harry quick, that's her, see? That is mommy's sky message!" I close my eyes, make a wish and blow her a kiss, my lips on hers. Tender.
God, can she feel me?
Pensive and teary velvet bear gently rolls his head to me and says, "yeah silly goose, that's her." As I reach for his hand, I whisper, "I love you velvet bear, hold me tight on this starry night." Does Harry know his heart can cry too?
God do you see her, can you touch her? Please hold her tight, I am so worried she is afraid....she always left a light on. It's too dark outside for her....
I wipe his tears and kiss his cheek, solid soldier he has become, my hero. We soldier on. We do as we are told.
Our nightly ritual, secretly held, we know no one can bear witness so our dream catcher is on guard, our fingers entangle, a nest we make with hopes she will fall from the midnight sky, it feels so real. Mommy we are here, fall into our love.
God can you feel us, we are here.
A box of treasured memories hidden deep in our hearts, a lifetime of love and adventure cut short, abruptly torn from our souls. A locket of blonde hair, cards beginning to fade, tattered corners from my endless need for them. Every word locked in my mind. Over and over.
But God, we do as we are told, silent soldiers we have become.
A summer day, we water the butterfly tree......a gift from mommy...she is our papillion, we marvel at the splendor of her, her eyes would always twinkle when we shrieked at the first flutter creature of summer, we chase the whirring wings and softly the dance is done as she lands with ease, gently, so gently...butterfly kisses.....lash to lash, love to love, hope.
God can you see her fly? Unwrap her wings for me.
We crave her laughter, her tales of that silly spaceship that made us fall into the softness of our beds, my magic purse and songs so goofy we just had to dance. God please know that our stage needs more than two to Tango.
But we soldier on, clickity clak and rinny tin tin, rusty soldiers we become.....but we do as we are told.
God I am still so small and my world is a maze with thoughts of hope, candy floss, merry-go- rounds and simple things, my shoulders hurt, my feet ache, I can no longer soldier on.
We can no longer soldier on....please end our war, please hear our prayers, we can no longer soldier on.
Good night midnight sky. Good night mommy.
Love Skylar
Changes in the Courts attitude
I am headed to court on a "reintegration" strategy with my children. After years of approaching the courts from many vantage points, exhausting my net worth, depleting my hope and sense of self and pushing myself further into self hatred that fuelled my addiction, I feel hope.
It is a therapeutic intervention in the most simple sense. A request, that despite addiction issues have been at play, that a child deserves the right to know its birth parent. A child should be allowed to choose what type of relationship to have with the parent that has suffered from addiction. Because this parent is and will always be a part of him or her.
The Courts, having been lobbied by leading lawyers and therapists, have finally decided it is time to build bridges in families as opposed to tearing them apart.
More to follow....
Stay positive.
It is a therapeutic intervention in the most simple sense. A request, that despite addiction issues have been at play, that a child deserves the right to know its birth parent. A child should be allowed to choose what type of relationship to have with the parent that has suffered from addiction. Because this parent is and will always be a part of him or her.
The Courts, having been lobbied by leading lawyers and therapists, have finally decided it is time to build bridges in families as opposed to tearing them apart.
More to follow....
Stay positive.
Tuesday, 10 July 2012
For more information on the following post, go to Divorce For Men by Carey Linde....
posted on
posted on
Parental Alienation is a disorder found in many children with
divorcing parents. This syndrome is an estrangement of the child from
one parent, caused by the intentional (or unconcious) efforts of the
other parent. The process involves the alienating parent making
defamatory comments and hostile statements about the target parent in
front of the child on a regular basis, in an effort to manipulate the
child’s feelings towards them.
This results in the child displaying hostile behaviour, including insulting, humiliating and belittling comments, agression, and false accusations towards the target parent. The comments, accusations, and statements are ongoing and almost always unjustified. This behaviour can extend to the target parent’s friends and family as well.
Carey Linde was one of the first lawyers in Canada, and remains senior, in the field of Parental Alienation and Parental Alienation Syndrome. He is experienced in filing against the parent who has set out to alienate a child from the other parent, sabatoge the bond between the child and that parent, and in every possible way remove that parent and their family from the life of the child.
The lawyers at the Law Offices of Carey Linde strongly believe that every child needs both parents equally in their lives. Their goal is to overcome any obstacles necessary in order to ensure that this happens. The best interest of the children involved is always the primary goal, and their experience in handling this kind of difficult situation helps make the process less trying for their clients.
For more information on Parental Alienation, please see our PAS Resources Section.
This section can be found on Divorce For Men - Carey Linde
This results in the child displaying hostile behaviour, including insulting, humiliating and belittling comments, agression, and false accusations towards the target parent. The comments, accusations, and statements are ongoing and almost always unjustified. This behaviour can extend to the target parent’s friends and family as well.
Carey Linde was one of the first lawyers in Canada, and remains senior, in the field of Parental Alienation and Parental Alienation Syndrome. He is experienced in filing against the parent who has set out to alienate a child from the other parent, sabatoge the bond between the child and that parent, and in every possible way remove that parent and their family from the life of the child.
The lawyers at the Law Offices of Carey Linde strongly believe that every child needs both parents equally in their lives. Their goal is to overcome any obstacles necessary in order to ensure that this happens. The best interest of the children involved is always the primary goal, and their experience in handling this kind of difficult situation helps make the process less trying for their clients.
For more information on Parental Alienation, please see our PAS Resources Section.
This section can be found on Divorce For Men - Carey Linde
Sunday, 13 May 2012
Mother's Day
Happy Mother's Day!!!! Despite the challenges mothers face when living life alienated from their children, we must remember we were given the opportunity to bring life into the world and no one can take that from us.
My thought for the day.....the best thing a father can do for his children is to love and respect their mother....
What should guide us at all times is love....the kind of love that transcends judgement, fear and anger....
My thought for the day.....the best thing a father can do for his children is to love and respect their mother....
What should guide us at all times is love....the kind of love that transcends judgement, fear and anger....
Friday, 20 April 2012
This is very, very real
Parental alienation a form of abuse
Yet, many parents face an even more difficult time when alienated from their children.
“Parental alienation most frequently occurs after parents are separated or divorced” said Theo Boere, of the Nanaimo Men’s Resource Centre. “Children in response to this situation can become aligned with one parent and with that parent, become preoccupied with criticizing and maligning the other parent. Whether mild or severe, many experts call parental alienation a form of child abuse.”
If left unresolved over a number of years, parental alienation can lead to a situation where the children are so alienated that they withdraw completely from the denigrated parent.
“Unfortunately, because of parental alienation and other factors, we are creating a fatherless society,” said Boere, “Most alienated parents are fathers, due to the courts still awarding custody to moms in a ratio of about nine to one.”
Everyone loses when parental alienation occurs, said Boere.
Studies show that children who grow up in this environment often drop out of school; get involved in risky and criminal behaviours.
Parents who suffer this kind of attack from a previous partner often experience financial problems, extreme stress, physical and mental health issues such as depression, and sometimes even commit suicide.
To find out more, please contact the Nanaimo Men’s Resource Centre to request a 30-minute video on the subject; or attend a 40-minute information session on Wednesday (April 25)
Session times are noon and 7 p.m. Please RSVP 250-716-1551. Information sessions will be at the centre, 418D Fitzwilliam St.
Saturday, 24 March 2012
A Poem for the innocent children who are told "To soldier on"
Dear God,
Tonight I see a midnight sky, stars ordered in brilliant disarray, the man on the moon, the little dipper, the big dipper too, the two star collections that Harry and I call the "mommy dream catchers."
Tucked in my bed, the smell of mommy's perfume lingering on my pillow, her picture in my hand, I anxiously wait for velvet bear...that is mommy's nickname for my big brother Harry....We do this every night just to peek for the shooting star, hands outreached, we giggle as we try to catch her..."Harry quick, that's her, see? That is mommy's sky message!" I close my eyes, make a wish and blow her a kiss, my lips on hers. Tender.
God, can she feel me?
Pensive and teary velvet bear gently rolls his head to me and says, "yeah silly goose, that's her." As I reach for his hand, I whisper, "I love you velvet bear, hold me tight on this starry night." Does Harry know his heart can cry too?
God do you see her, can you touch her? Please hold her tight, I am so worried she is afraid....she always left a light on. It's too dark outside for her....
I wipe his tears and kiss his cheek, solid soldier he has become, my hero. We soldier on. We do as we are told.
Our nightly ritual, secretly held, we know no one can bear witness so our dream catcher is on guard, our fingers entangle, a nest we make with hopes she will fall from the midnight sky, it feels so real. Mommy we are here, fall into our love.
God can you feel us, we are here.
A box of treasured memories hidden deep in our hearts, a lifetime of love and adventure cut short, abruptly torn from our souls. A locket of blonde hair, cards beginning to fade, tattered corners from my endless need for them. Every word locked in my mind. Over and over.
But God, we do as we are told, silent soldiers we have become.
A summer day, we water the butterfly tree......a gift from mommy...she is our papillion, we marvel at the splendor of her, her eyes would always twinkle when we shrieked at the first flutter creature of summer, we chase the whirring wings and softly the dance is done as she lands with ease, gently, so gently...butterfly kisses.....lash to lash, love to love, hope.
God can you see her fly? Unwrap her wings for me.
We crave her laughter, her tales of that silly spaceship that made us fall into the softness of our beds, my magic purse and songs so goofy we just had to dance. God please know that our stage needs more than two to Tango.
But we soldier on, clickity clak and rinny tin tin, rusty soldiers we become.....but we do as we are told.
God I am still so small and my world is a maze with thoughts of hope, candy floss, merry-go- rounds and simple things, my shoulders hurt, my feet ache, I can no longer soldier on.
We can no longer soldier on....please end our war, please hear our prayers, we can no longer soldier on.
Good night midnight sky. Good night mommy.
Love Skylar
Tonight I see a midnight sky, stars ordered in brilliant disarray, the man on the moon, the little dipper, the big dipper too, the two star collections that Harry and I call the "mommy dream catchers."
Tucked in my bed, the smell of mommy's perfume lingering on my pillow, her picture in my hand, I anxiously wait for velvet bear...that is mommy's nickname for my big brother Harry....We do this every night just to peek for the shooting star, hands outreached, we giggle as we try to catch her..."Harry quick, that's her, see? That is mommy's sky message!" I close my eyes, make a wish and blow her a kiss, my lips on hers. Tender.
God, can she feel me?
Pensive and teary velvet bear gently rolls his head to me and says, "yeah silly goose, that's her." As I reach for his hand, I whisper, "I love you velvet bear, hold me tight on this starry night." Does Harry know his heart can cry too?
God do you see her, can you touch her? Please hold her tight, I am so worried she is afraid....she always left a light on. It's too dark outside for her....
I wipe his tears and kiss his cheek, solid soldier he has become, my hero. We soldier on. We do as we are told.
Our nightly ritual, secretly held, we know no one can bear witness so our dream catcher is on guard, our fingers entangle, a nest we make with hopes she will fall from the midnight sky, it feels so real. Mommy we are here, fall into our love.
God can you feel us, we are here.
A box of treasured memories hidden deep in our hearts, a lifetime of love and adventure cut short, abruptly torn from our souls. A locket of blonde hair, cards beginning to fade, tattered corners from my endless need for them. Every word locked in my mind. Over and over.
But God, we do as we are told, silent soldiers we have become.
A summer day, we water the butterfly tree......a gift from mommy...she is our papillion, we marvel at the splendor of her, her eyes would always twinkle when we shrieked at the first flutter creature of summer, we chase the whirring wings and softly the dance is done as she lands with ease, gently, so gently...butterfly kisses.....lash to lash, love to love, hope.
God can you see her fly? Unwrap her wings for me.
We crave her laughter, her tales of that silly spaceship that made us fall into the softness of our beds, my magic purse and songs so goofy we just had to dance. God please know that our stage needs more than two to Tango.
But we soldier on, clickity clak and rinny tin tin, rusty soldiers we become.....but we do as we are told.
God I am still so small and my world is a maze with thoughts of hope, candy floss, merry-go- rounds and simple things, my shoulders hurt, my feet ache, I can no longer soldier on.
We can no longer soldier on....please end our war, please hear our prayers, we can no longer soldier on.
Good night midnight sky. Good night mommy.
Love Skylar
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